Well, as you may know, I never pay for a ticket when I board the SkyTrain. I've been doing this for quite a while now and this evening was just another evening, or so I thought. I was on my way up to meet up with some friends at the Frederic Wood Theatre at UBC to catch a play called "Picasso at the Lapin Agile" (A Steve Martin production), so I got off from work right at 18:00 and hopped on the train trying to get there by 19:00.
At Gateway station, just one station up from where I boarded the train, two police officers came on board checking for tickets. I kept my composure and put on the world's greatest act of searching for the ticket I knew I didn't have. I couldn't produce a ticket of course, and so they pulled me off the train at Scott Road station. The officer then took his ticket pad out and proceeded to ask me for my name and other personally identifiable information. He had asked for my ID to which I didn't want to give so I told him that I didn't have any on me. "No BC driver's license or BCID?" he questioned. "I'm sorry, but I don't carry any ID on me" I replied, lying through my teeth, as I knew that he couldn't search me without a warrant. I did tell him that I had a valid driver's license though, and that was my mistake in hindsight. Because of this, I gave him something he could track and verify over his radio to see if there was someone by the name of "Christopher Lowe", born on June 15th, 1981, at such and such address.
"Shit!" I said to myself in my head, but went along playing this game with the piggies. And sure enough, no record of that name came back and the officer accused me of lying! Eghads! I never lie! ;)
The officer told me the usual police spiel about how it's a criminal offence to be lying to a police officer yada yada yada and I kept nodding my head as if I understood all that nonsense. He then offered to clear the slate and try once more from the beginning, and asked me for my name. "Christopher Lowe" I replied, hiding my smile as best I can. Just then, my mobile phone rang (a friend I was meeting up with calling to see where I was). The officer took my RAZR and answered it, questioning the caller to describe me. Fortunately, it was a CouchSurfer I had not met in person yet so she had very little knowledge of who I am and what I look like other than the silly photos posted on my profile online. Heck, she didn't even know my real name as I use PETSHOPBOY as my handle!
To make a long story short, I eventually gave the officer my real name and address (don't ask) all without producing any ID and he was satisfied when it checked out. He wrote me up a ticket for $173 and made me buy a validated ticket. I was then on my way back to UBC.
I looked at this fine as the cost of my experiment with playing the game, but I realised later when I reviewed the ticket carefully that I hadn't actually signed the ticket on the "alleged offender's signature" line! As I had a similar experience with an unsigned speeding ticket in the past, I know that this is an invalid ticket that won't hold up in court when I dispute it. Life's good. =)
I was running really late for this evening's performance of "Picasso at the Lapin Agile" when I shouldn't have been as the tickets were held at the box office under my name. Fortunately, James, Jamie, and Soyoung were able to pick them up and claim their seats without my presence so I wasn't an inconvenience. I was on the 99-B-Line to UBC when I was text-messaging Damien with directions on how to get to the Frederic Wood Theatre when he boarded the same bus I was on! Running towards the theatre after getting off at the bus loop at UBC, I flew over a flight of stairs which I hadn't noticed under the cover of darkness and fell. I got up, continued to run, and finally got there at 19:40, 10 minutes into the play, huffing and puffing, trying to catch my breath.
The show itself was short but sweet, and full of comical dialogues between Albert Einstein, Pablo Picasso, and Elvis Presley at a Cafe in Paris. It was worth all the trouble of getting there to see it.
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