A Fantasy Parade.

Now here's something interesting for you all to read.

I came home after work today only to find that I didn't have my house keys with me. There I was, sitting on the front steps with my PowerBook, catching up on my journals, reading emails, and chatting with Kyle on MSN about my current situation of being locked out of my own home.

I took his advice and checked every window and every door, trying to find an entry point, but the only window open was the one on the second floor, leading into the en-suite, and there was no way I could have scaled that wall to climb in.

The following is an unedited chat dialogue from the wise Dutchman himself:

i'll help you get into the window....you can stand on my penis....and i'll masterbate....which will turn you on....and when i cum, you will be shot miles high in the air, at which point you will masterbate....and when you reach the window, you will cum, and you sticky cum will act as a grappling line, which you will use to crawl into the house! - at which point you will shower and change, and your parents will come home, wondering why there is a huge dutch penis in their backyard, and what the hell i'm doing on the end of it (and where you are when there's such an opportunity waiting :) ), and they'll wonder why their yard looks like winter.

At least he's imaginative.